Saturday’s Church Jokes 

   Seating Survey

       

        Dear Congregant:

        Many of you have expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church.

In order for your church office to place you in a seat that will best suit you, please complete

the following questionnaire and return it to the office.

 

I would prefer to sit in the:

  ____Talking/whispering section

  ____No talking section

 

If talking which subcategory do you prefer?

   ____Stock market____Sports

   ____Aches/Pains ____ Gossip

 

 

Which of the following would you like to be near so that you might receive free professional advice?

 

    ____ Lawyer ____ Physician

    ____ Accountant ____Beautician ____Stockbroker

 

 I want a seat located:

   ____ Near my in-laws    _____Far from my in-laws  ____ Far from my ex-in-laws

 

 I wish to be seated in a seat where:

  ____I can sleep during the preliminaries   ____ I can sleep during the sermon (additional charge)

 

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  Beth 12:07 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  LOL. This is great!!
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  Babblelot 12:18 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  This is too funny!
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  J W 12:42 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  You have a wonderful and most interesting space my fellow Tennessean. My current post is this old hillbilly\’s attempt at humor so I hope you don\’t think I\’m crazy….grin. Hope you accept my invitation of a hand stretched towards friendship on this most amazing domain. Continue in grace good woman.John
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  Sanjana 2:11 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  for me the talking/ whispering section and gossip will do fine…………….and ofcourse can you rig in sleep during the sermon as well?
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  Angel eyes 4:00 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  funny but sadly often true angel eyes
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  Connie 4:51 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  Funny! LOL
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  R U Serious 5:12 pm on May 23, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  I love when you post these!! That was a Great one!! I\’ll take \’Talking/Whispering\’, \’Sports\’, and \’FAR from in-laws\’!!! Hope yo\’re having a GREAT weekend and win the lottery!!!Take care, Bob~
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  GreatGranny 2:10 pm on May 24, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  
  
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  Nina's 3:07 pm on May 24, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  LOL Thats so funny. We wouldn\’t get away with that in our church, we are too small at the mo.Best place is at the front I think.RegardsninaX
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  Cynical 6:11 pm on May 24, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  As a biker gang might take over a bar, the youth of the church I attended took over what would have been the choir loft of many other churches. As long as nobody screamed or actually fell over the railing onto someone below, the congregation displayed remarkable restraint and tolerance. It may have gone in my favor that the church was named St. Helen\’s, my grandmother\’s name was Helen, my mother\’s name was Helen, and my grandfather bought the church for the group even though he was not religious. Ya think?Peace, Doc
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  Joe 6:46 pm on May 24, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  LOL, what about those that like to sit and drink coffee? No place for those?
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  JaeElle 9:54 pm on May 28, 2009Permalink | Reply | Edit

  ~giggles~……this is so funny! Great post.
• 5/24/09   copied 1/16/15