Saturday’s Church Jokes 

   Seating Survey
        Dear Congregant:
        Many of you have expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church.
In order for your church office to place you in a seat that will best suit you, please complete
the following questionnaire and return it to the office.
I would prefer to sit in the:
  ____Talking/whispering section
  ____No talking section
If talking which subcategory do you prefer?
   ____Stock market____Sports
   ____Aches/Pains ____ Gossip
Which of the following would you like to be near so that you might receive free professional advice?
    ____ Lawyer ____ Physician
    ____ Accountant ____Beautician ____Stockbroker
 I want a seat located:
   ____ Near my in-laws    _____Far from my in-laws  ____ Far from my ex-in-laws
 I wish to be seated in a seat where:
  ____I can sleep during the preliminaries   ____ I can sleep during the sermon (additional charge)